Futile Devices - Chapter 3 - swaIIowtail (2024)

Chapter Text

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Roman went ahead of everyone, not bothering to wait for them as he marched through the foyer of the Institute, heading for the Ops Center. He was pleased to see his food untouched, immediately grabbing the glass of juice. He ignored Isabelle occupying the nearby desk as he chugged it in record time, the sweet cold refreshment doing wonders for his nerves.

"You okay?" The girl asked, her eyes trained on Roman from above her monitor. He could only numbly nod in response. He didn't even feel like finishing his sandwich anymore. He grabbed the edge of his tank top, wiping the filthy blood off his dagger before putting it back in its sheath.

"Why is there a mundane in the Institute?" He heard Alec's voice, drawing his attention back to reality. He sensed the man coming closer to him. "And you're okay with this?" Alec's tone was laced with disapproval, his scowl directed at Roman.

"Ask Jace. Mundane just showed up out of nowhere." He mumbled absentmindedly.

"Are you out of your mind?" Alec turned to Jace. "Mundanes aren't allowed in the Institute."

"It's his new job to recruit every lost or troubled mundane he can find." Roman quipped, his dry tone earning a chuckle from Isabelle.

"Hey, the Law allows us to offer sanctuary to mundanes in certain circ*mstances." Jace replied, the look on his face portraying clear pride at his response. He silently thanked Hodge for reminding him of that last night.

"So you decided to bring another mundie here? Hodge is going to kill you." Isabelle remarked, eyes squinted in distaste.

Jace sighed. "A Circle member followed him to get to Clary."

"I think they're the ones who took my mom." Clary added. Roman bit down on the inside of his cheek.

"The Circle member...he said something else." Roman immediately shot Jace a glare at his words. He knew it needed to be said but he didn't want to acknowledge it. "He said that...Valentine Morgenstern," Jace grimaced. "He's still alive."

A shocked laugh left Isabelle's lips at what Jace said before it died down, the humor on her face crumbling when she noticed the grimness surrounding Roman like a dark cloud had settled on his hunched shoulders. She shared a look with her brother, the same surprise mirrored on his face. "Wait,what?"

"What exactly is a Circle member and why are they trying to kill us?" Simon asked, eyes darting around for answers.

"All we know is...a long time ago the Circle led a revolt." Jace explained to him. "A lot of Shadowhunters got killed...including my father." His voice dropped to a low mutter as Roman looked down at his shoes.

"And since the revolt we've been forbidden to even hear about the Circle." Alec continued, throwing a glance at the man beside him.

Clary stared at them in confusion. "But, how's that even possible? It's your history."

"Says the girl who didn't know she was a Shadowhunter?" Jace remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And now the only person who knows the truth is missing, so I don't care about your rules or what's forbidden." Clary shot back, glaring at him. "I'm...There's gotta be someone out there who can tell us why they've taken my mother." She sighed.

"There is." The blond confirmed. "You coming?"

She nodded as she and Simon were about to follow him before Jace blocked their way. "No, no, no. Not you." He stated, pointing at the mundane.

"Hey, we're a package deal." Clary protested making Simon nod rapidly in agreeance.

"There are runes all over the training room floor that would kill your mundie boyfriend." Jace responded, pointing at the markings carved on the marble. His statement clearly made the best friends fumble, their cheeks growing hot the more they tried to defend themselves.

Roman rolled his eyes at the scene. You cannot be serious right now. He felt awful. The air seemed like it had turned into razors, slicing through his chest with each inhale. His senses felt muddled and his stomach hurt. Roman had an inkling that it had to do something with the fact that the only thing he consumed inhourswas just juice. He raised an eyebrow as the plate of sandwich slid into his view, spotting Alec from his peripheral.

"Eat." He ordered gently.

"Not hungry."

The Lightwood boy sighed, eyeing Roman with concern. He wasn't surprised. He wouldn't be hungry either in his condition but they had pressing matters to deal with. "I'm not asking. Just take a few bites. I don't need a soldier down right now." If Alec noticed the shift in Roman's expression, he said nothing. Simply leaving before he could see his eyes gloss over, glimmering with bitterness.

Roman watched him walk away, scowling as hebegrudginglychewed his sandwich. Soldier. Just a soldier.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." He heard Isabelle say as he shook his head. "Please excuse their lack of manners. This is Alec and that's Roman." She gestured towards them before bringing her hand out. "and I'm Isabelle."

Roman raised an eyebrow, noticing how incredibly enraptured the mundane looked by her. "Lewis. Simon, Simon Lewis." The young boy said with a nervous smile, shaking Isabelle's hand vigorously. She clearly meant for him to kiss her hand. "Two first names. Am I still talking?"

Isabelle chuckled delightfully, clearly amused by him.She's going to ruin his life,Roman thought, dusting the leftover crumbs off his hands.

"See?" Jace pointed out. "Best friend's safe and sound here."

"Jace, if anything happens to him..." Clary trailed off, noticing Roman approaching her. The man had a presence that was impossible to ignore. He practically loomed over her (or Clary was just too short). It made her uneasy, recalling just how easily he had the power to almost take her life moments ago.

She blinked rapidly as he shoved a plate towards her, surprised to see a sandwich on it. She suddenly recalled the breakfast thing.Oh."Sorry about the whole..." He gestured vaguely towards his neck area. He still had so many questions but he did regret acting brashly. "Don't know what happened." That was a lie.

"If you want more, the kitchen is that way." He told her gruffly, pointing towards one of the hallways. "Go make it yourself."

She gingerly took the plate. "Um, thank you."

He turned away in response, nodding as he left. Clary could only look at the man's retreating figure in surprise.This man almost killed her for God knows what reason and now he was handing her a sandwich that she assumed, he made himself. He was...confusing.

"Clary, coming?" She heard as she turned to Jace who was waiting for her expectantly at the entrance to the training room.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

He was lying on the wooden floor, his eyes were trained on the plaster peeling off the wall. Roman wonders if the ceiling could collapse. He wonders (wishes) if it would collapse on him. As soon as he entered the room, he was greeted by the green eyes adorning his canvas that he now recognized as Clary Fray's. Or Fairchild? He had ripped it off the easel, stashing it in the corner with the rest of his unfinished paintings. He didn't wanna think about her. He didn't wanna think about the possibility that she was technically his half-sister. He didn't wanna think about his mom being alive and kidnapped by his father, who is also apparently alive. Yet, the matter kept gnawing at him.

Was it really that easy for Jocelyn to replace them with a new family? He couldn't blame her for finding a new lover so soon, though Roman could never imagine that. Just finding someone new to start a family with that quick because Clary did not look that young (despite herstaggeringlyshort height). Was it really so easy to move on from them? For Jocelyn to cradle a new child in her arms while locking the others away in the crevices of her mind. She was so young when she had them too. Roman wonders if they were just a fleeting memory of her youth to her.

He groaned, rubbing his fingers against his temple. His brain felt like it was being split open. He didn't want to think about any of this anymore.

Thankfully, luck was in his favor as he heard someone barge into his room. He didn't even react, knowing that only that blond hooligan had this habit. He opened one eye to find himself correct with Jace standing above him. "What are you doing?" The boy asked, staring at the man who was sprawled like a starfish.

"Re-connecting with nature."

"You're on the second floor."

"Close enough." Roman brushed him off. "What do you want?"

Jace settled on the floor, crossing his legs. "Clary's mom hid the Mortal Cup and we think that's why Valentine's after her." The truth's much deeper but Roman didn't say it, he wasn't allowed to. "And we think Clary had her memories wiped. By this warlock she knew. That explains why she can't recall things. She said there's like this emptiness."

Roman pursed his lips in thought. "Where's the warlock?"

"We don't know...which is why we're planning to go find her."

"By we, you mean you, Clary and possibly Izzy."

Jace clicked his tongue, sending the man a glare. "Alec's talking with the Clave about the whole Valentine returning thing."

"And they won't approve of this mission either. It's a stupid idea."

"Come on, Roman." He sighed. "This warlock could have the answers we need. With Valentine's people out there searching for Clary, she's not safe outside alone...I don't think it's safe for you either."

"Which is why I'm staying in the Institute. Like Clary should." Roman said, sitting up. "You don't know what you're facing. The safest place any of us can be is inside the Institute."

"So, we're just gonna let Valentine go about his plans?" Jace exclaimed.

"We're gonna stay put until we hear word from the Clave. Who will definitely order us to stay put."

"That's stupid and you know it." Jace leaned forward. "We're wasting time here...Also, what was that stunt you pulled earlier?"

Roman sighed. "I had questionsโ€”"

"So you put a dagger to her throat? Did all the paint thinner finally get to your head?" He questioned,gesturingat the art station located on the side of the room.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Roman accused, his voice tight.

"I don't." Jace denied immediately. "You can't be going on and on about me almost killing her, which I didn't by the way, and then charge at her with a knife."

"Look Jace," Roman ran his fingers through his hair. "if you wanna go after that warlock, be my guest. But I know for a fact that the Clave's order will include me staying inside the Institute. With Valentine," He squirmed. "back from the dead, they will grill me on and on about it. I know how this works. So, just go if you want. My head hurts. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

While Jace felt a surge of vitality course through him, wanting to get his hands on Valentine to get justice for what his father went through, Roman felt the complete opposite.He looked utterly spent and depleted. Jace couldn't blame him. He was aware of what being the child of that man cost Roman. Jace himself wanted Roman dead when he first came to the Institute at 10 years old. He still feels a shred of regret for how he lunged at him as soon as he found out his father was Valentine, that he was the son of that murderer. He could still feel how Roman's nose crunched under his knuckle, each hit painting the older boy's face in violent shades of crimson. He still wonders why Roman never fought back, despite being older and more skilled (at the time) (Jace knows he's better than Roman now). He just laid there, taking hit after hit, letting Jace take his anger out on him. Young Jace thought that Roman was weak scum.

The blond sighed, knowing very well that the man was one of the most adherent people alive. Roman would not listen tohim if it meant potentially pissing the Clave off. Adult Jace also thought that Roman was a wuss. "Fine." The boy glowered. "But like, stay alert. In case, we need backup."

Roman nodded, returning to his resting position again. Jace got up, dusting his jeans. "Let me know what the great nature says." He called over his shoulder, sarcasm evident in his tone.

"Hmm...it says Narcissus called. He wants his ego backโ€”" Roman flinched, feeling a pillow harshly land on his face.

The water engulfed him in its flowing embrace, soothing his aching soul. The shower was helping like he hoped, its cold touch helping him breathe easier. It didn't help his racing thoughts though. Should he have gone with them? Alec texted him later to confirm that he and Clary were indeed ordered to stay in the Institute by the Clave (like Roman said) but Clary was stubborn and Jace's encouragement didn't help either. He wished he was down there as back up to convince Alec into making them stay. Roman was hoping she'd be a temporary guest but with everything that was happening, she probably won't be. Roman trusted Alec to keep them in line but still he was anxious in case something happened to them and he wasn't there. What would he say to Maryse?

"May the Angel watch over them." He mumbled under his breath, tilting his head against the marble wall as a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. He wanted to stay in that gentle cocoon longer where the chaos outside was muffled and didn't hurt his ears.

He bregrudingly turned off the shower, not wanting to contribute to the increasing costs of the Institute. He grabbed his towel, rubbing the coarse fabric against him vigorously making tender red patches blossom on his skin. Running his fingers through his damp hair, he grimaced at the coarse feeling as he inspected how uneven the color had become. He reached for the leave-in conditioner, following the steps that Izzy told (threatened) him to follow after she noticed just how damaged his hair had become. Roman wasn't much for vanity (lie) but he'd rather not go bald by the time he's 30. He also got tired of Jace's faux expressions, a mixture of horrified and mournful everytime Roman went down for breakfast with the bird's nest on his head.

This was not the time for hair care but Roman had to, needed to do these simple mundane things to keep himself from lashing out. That's just a weak way to act. But then again, is there a proper way to act when you find out that the parents you spent years mourning for have been alive all this time? One too consumed in growing his plans for destruction and the other too busy caring for a new child to care about whether he was dead or alive all these years. He was their first child. Only alive child, he thought. The back of his throat stung.

The faint drip of water from the faucet was the only proper noise, the buzz of New York City was a gentle muffle in the back as each drop echoed in the stillness. He was sure he could hear everything clearly. And he heardthattoo.

He was frozen, hands clutching his hair, eyes widening in alarm. It was barely more than a breath, a whisper brushing past him with a caress. He was sure he heardit.

"Another to carry the burden."He heard. A shiver climbed down his spine, the soft air brushing against him. It was gentle, almost ethereal. His head whipped around, strong enough to almost cause a whiplash. His eyes searched the corners of the bathroom, horror swirling deep in his irises.

No, no, no.He didn't need this right now.There's no one here. There's no one here. There's no one here.He kept mumbling. A helpless prayer.It's all in your head. It's all in your head.

"Another cursed with the tragedy of lineage."

It said again, clearer this time. It seemed to surround him, like a snake trudging up his body, waiting to sink its fangs into his beating veins. It made him breath come out in short gasps. The room seemed to close on him, the air turning thicker and painful, burning him, hurting him.

His eyes snapped open, his breathing laboured as the sharp ring of his phone echoed through the space, that unsettling feeling draping over him once again as he saw Alec's name flash on the screen. So soon? They only left an hour ago.

"What's wrong?" He breathed out when the call connected, gripping the object tight in his trembling hand.

The line was silent for a bit before Roman heard the sheer frustration in Alec's words. "Circle members kidnapped the warlock we were tracking so now, the mundane wants to go to the City of Bones to retrieve her memories to help us find the Cup."

The line was silent for a bit before Roman heard the sheer frustration in Alec's words. "Circle members kidnapped the warlock we were tracking so now, the mundane wants to go to the City of Bones to retrieve her memories to help us find the Cup."

"What the f*ck?" Roman shouted as he opened the door, the hinges creaking painfully at the harsh action.

Putting the phone on speaker, he threw it on the bed before quickly moving to don his gear. "You're kidding me. You're actually kidding me." He groaned out. "Is Jace insane? Does he lack common sense?"

"Hey, why'd you assumed I have anything to do this with?"Jace accused, his voice distant.

"Because you're the only one stupid enough to suggest it!" The man yelled in anger. "Clary isbarelya Shadowhunter. She's not strong enough to deal with a process like that. Also, did you forget that she's beenorderedto stay in the Institute."

"Do you have a better idea?" The squeaky voice of the girl rang through his room. "There's no other way to retrieve my memories."

"This is not our decision to make." Jace reminded him. "It's Clary's."

Roman was about to go on another tangent before the redhead interrupted him. "Valentine has my mom and now he's taken Dot too.If you can tell me another way to recover my memories and still get the answers we need, I'm listening."

His movements stilled as his breathing faltered at the stark reminder. Jocelyn was captured by Valentine and Roman didn't even want to think about what the woman's condition was right now. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he resigned himself to the inevitable. "Fine." He conceded with a heavy sigh, abandoning his jacket. They weren't technically in danger and didn't need assistance so, he'd rather not go unless required.

He ignored the triumphant sound of the girl as he grabbed his phone to cut the call but Alec's voice made his finger hover over the red button. "Can...can you get here quickly? Please." His tone was softer, a gentle plea with the noises in the background now muted. There was something about it that made Roman's heart twist. Something strong enough to make him slip his jacket on.

Roman could only hand his fare in utter disbelief, leaving the cab with the confirmation that taxi drivers are con artists in disguise. The wrought iron gates of the cemetery that held the Silent City creaked loudly as Roman stepped inside, the air thick with the smell of dead flowers. Making appointments with the Silent Brothers was a lengthy procedure and usually, you would be taken there with a horse driven black carriage but a shortcut was located here in the dark center of the garden. The City was a complex labyrinth of levels and chambers, carved deep into the earth. It was a bit grim to think about how underneath the dark soil that Roman was walking on, laid the necropolis of the Nephilim. It was even more twisted to think about how the ashes of those that died in battle are used to construct the marble arches of the City. Their blood and bone served as a powerful ward against evil so here they were, their souls woven into the fabric of the city's architecture. Even in death, the relentless cycle of battle and duty never ended.

Roman also actively ignored thinking about the number of Clave rules they had broken by now, knowing the knowledge would give him an aneurysm. He sighed in relief when he saw the figures in black illuminated by the drums of fire. Well, he at least hoped it was them and he wasn't walking into a cult ritual.

Isabelle's head shot up at the sound of the footsteps, her stance relaxing when she saw Roman. "Hey." She greeted him gently. She had been meaning to talk to the man but he shut himself in his room as soon as he got the chance.

Roman nodded towards her before turning to the others, his eyes turning to slits when he spotted Clary and Jace. "We better leave this place with your memories back because the amount of Clave rules that have already been broken is just..."

"I don't care what that Clave thing or you want. I'm going to find my mother and Dot." The girl snapped, glaring back at the man.

Roman's gaze hardened as he regarded Clary's defiance. "You're a Shadowhunter now. A useless one, but still. Especially when you're going on these impromptu missions." He reminded her firmly. "This means you follow the rules, whether you like it or not. You're venturing into unknown territory with zero training, jeopardizing not only your own safety but everyone else's too. So, you better start caring about the rules before they ship you off to Alicante and make sure that you don't leave until this whole mess is sorted out."

"I wasn't even a Shadowhunter until an hour ago!"

She was right. Roman knew she was right but he also knew that she didn't have a choice. "Well, you are now. You do realize if you're not strong enough to withstand the Brothers, you candie. The consequences of that will fall on us, more specifically Alecโ€”"

"Roman." Jace reprimanded. "You don't need to freak her out moreโ€”"

"Why? There's no point in sugar coating this. She needs to know what she's getting into."

"If you'd let me finish, I was going to say that you are also right. Sort of." The blond cut in, clenching his jaw. He turned to Clary. "Along with what Roman said, the pain will beexcruciating. You don't have to do this."

"I'll do anything. Walk through fire, battle demons, whatever it takes. I have to get my mom back." Clary replied after a beat. "I can't...I won't lose her."

Roman had to applaud the girl, she was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. If he was in her position, he would simply let everyone else do the work. Then again, growing up without a mother had perhaps made him more apathetic about such matters. He also wonders if the fact that Jocelyn istheirmother is making him more lenient towards her quests. He shook his head, deciding it was definitely because Clary's their only shot at finding the Mortal Cup.

The redhead nodded in satisfaction at their silence, walking away from the group as Jace led her down the path. Roman furrowed his eyebrows, finally noticing Simon hanging in the back. "Why are you here?" He demanded.

"Clary's my best friend, I'm supporting her." The boy replied, eyeing him wearily. "Besides, I don't feel like leaving her with the person that tried to kill her."

Roman rolled his eyes, twisting his lips. "Acting like I tried to behead her or something." He mumbled, ignoring Isabelle and Alec's perplexed looks.

"Well, you almost did."

The man sighed at the mundane's response, not bothering to reply as he followed Jace and Clary, that cowering feeling of shame making his steps fasten. He came to a stop when they spotted the entrance to the City, greeted by a lovely skeleton designed on the door.

"I can do this." Clary mumbled, forcing the conviction through her shaky voice.

"Yeah, you can. You're Clary freakin' Fray." Simon tells her with a bright smile. "You can do anything." The redhead flashed a tiny smile at him, his unwavering belief in her easing her nerves. Simon began moving towards the entrance to the City before Jace instantly blocked his path.

"All right, hold up."

"Surprise, surprise. No mundanes allowed, just like in the training room, right? Wrong!" Simon exclaimed, glaring at the blond. "I've seen every horror movie ever made and the funny best friend who gets left behind...dead man."

"You're not that funny." Jace remarked dryly. "But by all means, go ahead. Of course, the minute you enter, you'll die."

Simon stilled, one foot in the air as he was about to go in. He turned around, eyeing the boy with apprehension. "Problem is, now I don't trust you."

"He's not lying." Alec stated bluntly. He didn't need a whole new debacle to deal with.

"Now." Isabelle added, her lips curled mischievously. "He was before."

"The rune energy in the City of Bones will kill any mundane who dares to enter, so, please..." Alec explained, gesturing Simon to walk into his death if he was that stubborn.

"Don't know...It would probably be a way cooler death than something mundane like getting hit by a bus." Roman commented. Simon could only stare at him wide-eyed. "Oh, come on. Think about it. Local teenager found disintegrated at a cemetery, right in front of an ominous entrance adorned with skeletons. You'd be an unsolved mystery."

Roman's words were convincing enough for Simon to step away from the entrance hastily, ignoring how his brain was also agreeing with the man. It would be a cool death.

"The Brothers creep me out. I'll mind the mundane." Isabelle stated, walking over to Simon with a smile.

"Your sacrifice is noted, Izzy." Jace said, rolling his eyes knowingly.

"Talk about sacrifice." Simon added, his voice stressed. "I'm missing a financial analysis class."

Roman had to stare at him in disbelief. There are much more important things to worry about but okay. He glanced at Alec, please to see the same look of incredulity.

"I can't be here anymore," Alec said, pointing towards Simon. "So, Jace, I'm gonna mind the perimeter." He turned away to meet Roman's eyes. The Lightwood threw him a look making him nod vehemently. "Yeah, I'm joining you." Roman voiced, trailing behind him.

The two walked in silence for a bit as they examined the area, the crackle of the fire and rustling of the looming trees filling the space.Roman's eyes swept around, searching for any signs of trouble as his hand rested on the hilt of his dagger, ready to spring into action if needed. He frowned, feeling Alec's eyes burn into the side of his face.

"Thank you. For coming." Alec muttered, low and lovely. He knew that Roman probably didn't want to come because every step he took against the grain making him feel incredibly uncomfortable. "You didn't have to but...I appreciate it."

"You asked me to. So, I came." Roman bit his tongue harshly, cursing himself for saying that. Why would he admit that? Why would he admit it out loud that he allowed Alec's words to sway his mind that much? "Wouldn't want you to face this sh*tshow alone." He added, hoping it would make it better as he tasted the metal on his tongue.

Alec didn't expect that response and it was painfully obvious by the sudden maroon dust coating his cheekbones. Thank the Angel that it was night. "Oh," He breathed out. "I...didn't realize..."That's all you can say???

But Roman wasn't wrong, things were a major sh*tshow right now. Firstly,that short, annoying, rude, infuriating,Alec took a deep breath,ginger showed up out of nowhere and is a Shadowhunter??? Then she brought her equally annoying mundane friend and now they were stuck chasing around like headless chickens because of her cause she knows where the Mortal Cup could be.And now Valentine's backโ€”

He glanced at Roman, finally getting a good look at him away from all the chaos. Roman was around Alec's height but he seemed awfully small now as he shrunk into himself, eyes vacant. His gaze kept flickering all around, like a candle flame in the gentle breeze but Alec could tell he wasn't really observing anything. His mind was lost somewhere else, in a place Alec knew he couldn't reach into. Afaint unease flickered within himwhen he noticed Roman digging his fingers into the outline of his nail beds. It wasn't something intended to be noticed, evident by the way Roman always seemed to hide his fingers in pockets, gloves, fists or simpy healing it with aniratze. Yet Alec noticed it ages ago when they were young but things had changed since then. Could he still lightly tap his fingertips against Roman's hand like he used to do? Bringing him back to reality to prevent him from picking at the barely healed scars and creating new angry red patches. Was he allowed to touch him again and have it not mean a thing?

"Howโ€”How are you feeling about, you know...Valentine being alive and all?" Alec decided to ask, broaching the subject heavy on their minds.

Roman flinched, his teeth harshly pulling the fraying skin away that he was biting when he heard the name. He pursed his lips tightly, trying not to react as his hand trembled at the pain surging through the area but Alec didn't miss it. His eyes widened in surprise, fingers twitching as he watched Roman inhale deeply and shake his hand. Alec knew he was just gonna brush it off. He brought his hand out, pausing momentarily before tugging Roman's hand close to him, his eyes scanning the wounds with growing alarm.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked.He could make out the peach ridges tinged with specks of blood, the skin raw and red. "You're bleeding."

He pressed his thumb against the wound, hoping the gentle pressure would hold back the scarlet. The soft rumble of Alec's voice, the harsh lines dissolved from his face and how the amber in his eyes seemed to shine under the reflection of the surrounding flames. Like sunlight peeking through a medley of olives and brown. Roman could only nod silently as he looked away.I don't need a soldier down right now.

It was almost instinctive how he pulled his hand away, like Alec's touch was fire. It burned the same too. The man's lips parted in surprise as his eyes turned downcast, the stele in his hand frozen in the air.

"It's fine. I'm okay." Roman brushed him off, averting his gaze. "We should head back, everything seems clear." He didn't wait for Alec to agree, his footsteps feeling heavy as he left.

The Lightwood could only watch him leave, the familiar ache settling in his chest. He was unable to do anything butwatchRoman slip more and more into his private hell. He didn't push for the truth, like always. He let Roman lie and pretend it was easier that way. He'd let himself be discarded away, like he was just another sketch that Roman deemed was mediocre and left crumpled in a corner of his room. He would pretend that constantly dancing on the periphery of intimacy with Roman was as easy as breathing air. It was just easier that way.

"So, is cracking someone's mind open supposed to take this long?" Simon asked the Nephilim. "Maybe we, or...you should go check?" He suggested lightly but the paranoia in his tone was clear as day.

"Jace has it covered." Alec responded, his features twisted into boredom.

"Take my word for it." Isabelle added, her voice sweet as she twirled a strand of her hair. "The Silent Brothers are quite unpleasant."

Roman shot her a look. "They aren't unpleasant...Just a bit different than us."

"Yeah, super Shadowhunters who can like retrieve memories." Simon reiterated, recalling what Jace revealed at the Pandemonium.They're Shadowhunters with superior powers.

Roman let the corner of his mouth quirk up at the reply. The mundane wasn'tentirelywrong. "Something like that. They're a powerful group of Shadowhunters who devote their lives to basically researching and providing asssistance when required to other Shadowhunters." Roman explained at the boy's confused look, telling enough but still keeping it vague. The mundane knew more than enough already.

Simon relaxed a bit at his words. That's not too badโ€”

"They give me the creeps. Anyone who mutilates themselves like thatโ€”" Isabelle disagreed, a deep tension settling between her eyebrows.

"Mutilate?!" Simon exclaimed, eyeing them frantically.

"It helps them with their abilities, basically strengthening their minds." Roman revealed, his gaze narrowing at Simon who looked like he was going to pass out.

"What kind of an ability requires mutilation? Likeโ€”"

"I mean, they can crack someone's mind open the same way you might crack open a walnut and leave them screaming alone in the dark if that's what they want. Those abilities are prettyโ€”"

"That's not helping." Simon visibly shook, exasperated at how the man looks completely unfazed. "How is this normal?"

"Roman wanted to become a Silent Brother when he was younger." Isabelle disclosed, feeling empathetic towards the mundane's shock. She still doesn't get why Roman even thought of becoming one.

Simon surveyed the man with unease. "Man, your childhood goals were sure interesting."

"Hey, you wanted to become an Iron Sister. That's like the female counterpart of a Silent Brother." Roman chided Isabelle, ignoring Simon's words.

"They don't mutilate themselvesโ€”"

"You know what, none of this is helping. Not at all." Simon cut in, shaking his head. "What if Clary can't handle the Brothers? What does thatโ€”"

Alec grit his teeth in irriation. "It literally never stops talking."

"Is he always so charming?" Simon quipped earning a snort from Roman as Alec narrowed his eyes at the mundane.

"Firstborn." Isabelle sighed. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown."

"Mmm. I feel his pain." Simon nodded his head in sympathy, his gaze following the flickering flames burning in the barrel. "Only son. Mother wants me to be a CPA."

Isabelle hummed, approaching the mundane slowly. "And you? What do you want?"

Roman raised an eyebrow, noting the genuine interest blended into the alluring layers of Isabelle's deameanour.

"Me? Um...well, I'm in a band." The mundane mumbled, caught off guard by her curiousity.

"Yeah? What type of music?" She inquired before holding up a finger, her eyes widening. "Let me guess. Indie rock?"

"Yeah." Simon breathed out, his nervousness slowly bleeding away.

"Got anything on your phone?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "I do. We recorded our last set. We killed it," He glanced at Alec and Roman, finding both of them lost in their own worlds, zero interest in the conversation. He patted his pockets, frowning at the emptiness. "I left my phone in the van."

"Let's go get it." Isabelle suggested, tilting her head as the mundane easily agreed with her.

"Where is it going?" Alec asked as the two were walking away.

"We'll be right back." Isabelled replied. He raised his eyebrows knowingly at the response, earing a pointed look from his sister. "What? He passes the time."

"I can hear you guys, you know?" Simon complained before the girl led him away with her tight grip on the back of his jacket.

Alec remained leaned against the wall of the entrance while Roman sighed, moving to sit on a nearby rock. They didn't exchange any words, letting the sound of the burning wood fill in the silence.

Roman actually did like the Silent Brothers. He knew they were feared amongst his people with their veiled faces and sewn lips but Roman had a deep reverence to the sentinels of the Nephilim. They set their swords down to dedicate their lives to become healers and keepers of arcane knowledge and devote themselves to researches that aid others. They forsake their identity, former lives, mortality to serve a higher purpose and the concept can be disconcerting to some. It can't helped but be wondered how selfless or hopeless do you have to be to in your mortality to dedicate your life to a cause as sacrificial, their willingness to dedicate themselves entirely to aiding others. Roman could only speak for the helpless bundle because he knew, he was too selfish and angry to follow the selfless road.

The Silent Brothers stirred both admiration and envy within Roman. He wasn't fond of the concept of being immortal, he could barely tolerate his mortal life but the idea of devoting yourself to the good of others and to have that clarity and purpose of what one's existence meant, mattered, enticed him in the despair of his own existence. If Roman was a Silent Brother then maybe, his life would actually mean something, even if he had to abandon everything he had and impose marks that would mutilate his features. It would be better if he wasn't recognizable anyway. Washing his burden away and disfiguring himself, like charcoal scratched onto a ruined figure out frustration. He would be someone new, with hollow eyes and a stitched mouth and a new name of his choice. He'd pick something honorable. But he doesn't think he would ever be deemed worthy to join their sacred ranks in the eyes of the Clave. Especially when his actual reasons are so selfish.

But Roman's duty was to be a devout soldier and he'd do the best with what he's given. He'd live a life dedicated to the codes of the Covenant and probably die in the line of duty or in battle. He hoped he would be considered honorable enough to be a part of the remains that fabricate the marble in the City of Bones.

It didn't take long for Clary and Jace to come out from the dark entrance. Her eyes were pearling with tears and a small drop of blood was on her forehead from where the Soul Sword touched her.

Both Alec and Roman moved from their positions, approaching them quickly. "What happened? What did you find out?" Alec asked, urgency lacing his voice, his eyes darting between the two.

Jace looked almost reluctant to answer before he finally looked towards Roman, knowing this can't be avoided. "Valentine is Clary's father."

It was quiet for a few moments as the information processed in their minds before Alec took a step forward in defense. "Wait a minute. You're telling me this girl shows up out of nowhere and she's Valentine's daughter?"

He glanced at Roman, finding him staring blankly at the redhead. Roman felt almost...airborne, disconnected. He couldn't feel his fingertips or the cold night breeze brushing past him. It was like he's in a different place, so far away from his own body. Valentine is Clary's father. Jocelyn is Clary's mother. What? Roman wanted slam his head into the wall.

He felt a bit stupid for not putting two and two together. He was right, Clary did not look that old. Maybe around seventeen or eighteen and the only explanation for that would be either that Jocelyn had an affair or the dreadful truth. Valentine is Clary's father. Roman exhaled shakily, his eyes narrowing at her as he flexed his fingers, trying to drive feeling back into his limbs. "You...You told me your father is Jonathan Clark." He recalled. "Youlied."

"Iโ€”I didn't. My mom told me that my father, his name is Jonathan Clark. I never knew him. What I saw...it had to be a lie."

Jace pursed his lips, eyeing Roman. "Did you know anything about this?" He asked before turning to Clary. "The Circle member called you Clary Fairchild too, right? That's notโ€”"

"Your mother's name is Jocelyn Fairchild." Roman began lowly making Clary frown. Hodge said the same thing. "She was Valentine's wife." He revealed, the corner of his mouth turning up in disbelief.

There was a moment of astonished silence as everyone's eyes widened in shock at the new found information. "Valentine had a wife? He wasmarried?" Jace questioned with a grimace.

"That's insane!" Clary burst out, feeling the pressure burning her eyes. "My mother would neverโ€”she was only ever married to my father! She didn't have an ex-husband! Stop lyingโ€”"

"Do you honestly think you know more than I do?" Roman snapped, his voice dripping with disdain. "Your mother lied to you, Clary. You're just a clueless little girl who showed up yesterday."

Clary wanted to punch the sh*t out of him. But she could only stare at him with glassy eyes as a cold wave of fear washed over him at the familiar look on his face. That same red-hot anger that was embeded in his features when he held his knife against her throat.

"We know he had you but you refused to say anything about your mother. We just thought you never knew her. Or she died. We knew nothing about him having a whole wife. Why did we not know?" Jace questioned, not caring about the uncomfortable silence. He stilled, his lips parting in realization. "Wait, if Jocelyn is Clary's mother and she was Valentine's wife, does that mean..."

Alec's frown cleared, his eyes lighting up at hisparabatai'sephiphany. "Roman? Is Jocelyn..." He trailed off, eyeing the man expectantly. He knew that Roman understood what he meant.

Roman didn't say anything but the silence was enough of an answer for them. "The Circle's existence remains an embarrassment to the Clave. Most documents concerning it and its members have been destroyed." Roman decided to say instead. There was nothing to hide anymore anyways.

Clary could only stare at him "Why didn't you tell me before?" she said. "That my mother was married to Valentine. You knew who she wasโ€”"

"Only because that guy called you Clary Fairchild. Besides, I have no obligation to tell you anything." He answered, his lips curled. Clary could have flinched by the way he spat those words at her.

Alec frowned at him, unable to conceal the twinge of betrayal in him. "But why didn't you tell us? We could've saved time if you just...told us."

Roman sighed heavily, looking between Alec and Jace. "The Clave forbade it and so did Maryse and Robert and besides," he glanced at Clary. "she told me her father was someone else. Jonathan Clark. I believed her because that's what she said. I didn't know the truth either."

"Wait whatโ€”what's going on?" Clary asked, her bloodshot eyes frantically looking between them.

"Nothing major. Just that you and Roman are long lost siblings." Jace stated, shrugging at the vexed look that Roman shot him.

Clary blinked, momentarily stunned at how casually Jace explained the situation considering the gravity of the revelation. A disbelieving laugh escaped her. "Wait what?" She stared at the blond with wide eyes. "Long lost siblings? You can't be serious, right?"

"I believe that's what I just said." Jace quipped, crossing his arms.

"Look, Valentine having a secret daughter who showed up right when the news of the Circle being back is a little suspicious, don't you think?" Roman stated, trying to shift the focus away from him.

"Exactly." Alec agreed, glaring at hisparabatai. "Did it occur to you that she might be a spy? This might be part of her plan?"

Clary's lips twisted into a sneer. "Do you think I planned for my mom to get kidnapped? Or... or for Dot to be taken? Or to have a giant sword dangle over my head and find out that my father is one of the most dangerous people in the world? And that I apparently have a secret brother?! Really?"She looked away from them, noticing Simon and Isabelle to be missing. "Where's Simon?"

Their heads shot up at the clicking of heels as the Lightwood girl made their way to them, her face tensed. "Where's Simon?" Clary asked her.

Isabelle gulped. "I told him to stay in the van. I've searched everywhere."

"He's gone?" Clary exclaimed at her words.

"I can't find him." Isabelle mumbled, the guilt evident in her eyes.

"You were supposed to protect him! Simon!"

"Ugh, these mundanes are killing me." Jace sighed as the rest followed the frantic redhead.

"Is that the mundane's name?" A sweet voice asked out of nowhere, malice brewing in his words. Roman looked up, blinking rapidly when he spotted the source. He was standing on top of the concrete bridge with his grip tight on Simon's ankle as he dangled from the ledge. Roman's frowned deeply, recognizing the man.

"I'm afraid Simon's coming with us." Raphael stated, his lips curled into a sick smirk.

"No! No, he's not a part of this." Clary sprinted towards them before Jace caught her, holding her back.

"And it will be my pleasure to kill you unless you return him," Jace added sharply, his glare fixed on the vampire. Roman snapped his head towards the boy in disbelief. No chance in hell.

"Careful." Alec warned. "We'd be violating the Accords."

"I'm afraid your sidekick's quite right." Raphael smirked triumphantly. "The Night Children have broken no laws. We're negotiating. The mundane, unharmed, in exchange for the Mortal Cup." He declared, the threat hanging heavily in the air. "And the clock is ticking. Tick-tock, people."

With a lingering gaze on them, Raphael swiftly disappeared into the night, taking Simon with him as his desperate call for Clary echoed hauntingly in his wake.

Futile Devices - Chapter 3 - swaIIowtail (2024)

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